Seriously…it’s not a cult. I know most of my friends are curious as to how I ended up in a #notcult (and reallyif we are being honest, to shut the hell up about it), where the requisite uniform is a sweet grey t-shirt and Ranger panties and the price of admission is walking around in the dark with a backpack for a couple (12) of hours. To understand my desire to join a #notcult, basically you have to follow my amazing transformation from fat Asian guy to…well shit, still a fat Asian guy: 2013 Sexy Edition.

My (lack of) fitness journey follows this timeline:

UPS > office job > Stronglifts > Warrior Dash > Tough Mudder > GORUCK Challenge > GORUCK Light > GORUCK Heavy > tears

I went from walking 5-6 miles a day as a UPS driver and to sitting down and being on the phone all day while maintaining the same level of drinking and increasing my food intake. I gained some lots of weight and was shit (still am) for cardio when I first started trying to run. Initially, it took me 24 minutes to walk/run 1.25 miles. From that in April of 2011 to running my first (of four total in 2012) half-marathon the following February (thanks Collin!) unprepared…not bad.

Now, I wasn’t totally unprepared for the half but my farthest run up to that point was 5 miles in January. I still had time to get a somewhat-decent cardio base for that March’s Tough Mudder so I used that as a stepping stone. First half, 2’39″51 or thereabouts. I’d like to do a full-marathon but I don’t know if that’s in the cards anytime soon. From looking at the Tough Mudder page I found out that they have this 8-10 hour endurance event and it looked cool (honestly – what attracted me to the company was I was looking at the bags first /notgay) but seemed a little too intense.

After the Tough Mudder I was looking for something a little more difficult (intense?) and the General suggested I look into Goruck. I told him I’d think about it (read: never) but then I got drunk and used that as an excuse to get the bag and there you go, new $200 backpack and a ticket for some good livin’.

I trained half-heartedly, more dreading than looking forward to the event but come day-of, it was time to dance. Because I’m in good shape, the first 120 minutes of the Welcome Party was the worst thing I’d ever done in my life and I was ready to quit like every 5 minutes. But you can’t quit. Not with coworkers there. Or letting the team down. Or getting a refund.

So it was the worst thing I’d ever done in my life and I came out a better person with some great new friends. That’s why I joined a #notcult. I love some of these people. OK, just one. I’ll let them figure it out. Basically I’m still fat and out of shape but I can ruck a good distance while dreaming about beer and won’t quit. GORUCK combines the best of both worlds: running and beering. The not-quitting is all that has changed and that’s not culty…just #cult-ish.