It’s Friday and I can’t go shopping because I have to sit here and delete the 100 Black Friday deal e-mails I got this morning. I should probably unsubscribe from all of these since I’ve used all of one coupon from these e-mails in the past 3 years I’ve been shopping online. However, I’m still kicking ass and not going shopping with actual people because, um, GROSS. As my real estate professor said, “You know, get out there and rub elbows with the unwashed masses.” Shopping with all those people leads to sites like these being developed:

http://blackfridaydeathcount.com/

In boring e-mail news:

*Unsubscribes*

Why do you want to unsubscribe? It’s not possibly because we send you 3 e-mails a day asking you to buy our shit, is it? I mean, you bought one thing from us a year ago and we figured you’d want more buying opportunities.

I’m tired of deleting your e-mails every day for the past 3 years and it’s finally time to take action. Please, send me no more e-mails ever.

*Gets confirmation e-mail that I’m unsubscribed*

Hello *ee Yang,

This email is being sent to notify you that we have received a request to remove the following record from our mailing list:

Name: *ee Yang

Seriously!

This is me and you, e-mail subscription bot.