I ordered a new Bear Grylls multi-tool (by Gerber) to keep in my car as a backup in case I get stranded in the wilds of the DFW Metroplex and the biggest clue that I wouldn’t survive any apocalypse (zombie?) is that I could not free the multitool from the packaging. It was some combination of cardboard and crackhead-proof plastic that if I kept on going without using a knife, I’d have slice myself open and bleed out. It did come with a sweet hip holster so now I can wear it whenever I go out. Conclusion: if you’re ever in a survival situation where you need a bunch of stuff ripped open out of plastic and you have to choose between me and some random, choose the random.

In opposition to my self-proclaimed minimalism in life, I have been on a mission to acquire the shit out of stuff. Knicknacks here and there and pretty soon you end up with another box of crap that you have to give away when you get really drunk one night and people are over. I really need to quit doing that, accumulating shit. Like an extra multi-tool. At least I can rationalize that particular purchase. I can’t rationalize another pair of shoes (TOMS) or my third I AM BEE YANG shirt (sweetest version btw). It’s always “oh next time I get a break from this-or-that I will de-clutter” and it never happens.

I need someone to manage my life and finances, basically.

GORUCK news: I’ve bought more clothes in case of all weather in Seattle for the HCL. Extra beanie, balaclava, compression shirt and pants. I am a gear whore but without the budget to be one. We did another Scavenger hunt and apparently they only make Gold patches hashtag golds. I’m going to retire from Scavenger like I did from GORUCK.

We were talking about addiction at work (gambling) and I mentioned I didn’t really have one and my friend called me out and said GORUCK is my addiction. I really wonder if I can quit. Got two more lined up so we’ll see how long of a break I can take.

Hammock update: don’t buy one unless you want to nap all the time. 15 minutes after I lay down it is light’s out. Quite amazing, actually. Unless you have articles to read or be productive then you do not lay in a hammock. Or is it lie in a hammock?

Dinosaur impersonations