I’m attempting my first marathon tonight alongside my good friend G at El Scorcho in Fort Worth. I say “attempting” because I anticipate blowing up and not being able to finish. If you want to check it out and jeer me as I run by and drink some beers, link up with Eric somewhere along the course and he’ll get you settled in.

Other than doing GORUCK events, which are mostly nice walks in the park, I haven’t done any training in the build up to this. I mean, I’ve run an incredible 6 times out of my 16-week training program and I did 7 GORUCKs in that period but no legitimate training or cessation from alcohol (because what’s the point?). Now you know my training background and how much this is going to suck (or be really awesome and make for a good story, which is the point of all of this anyway).

Like GORUCK used to do for me, I’m getting nervous and excited about this event. Kind of like gameday back in school. Now when I do a GRC it’s like “well, this is going to suck but I’ve been here before so let’s do it.” There’s almost a sense of dread and I only do those to hang out with people, not for the beat down. Speaking of beat downs, this run is going to be awesome. It’s a 5K loop that I have to run ten times so that will be a big punch in the face I’m looking forward to.

I’ve never hit The Wall, so to speak. I just haven’t done anything for that long that it would get to that point. I don’t know if you can hit The Wall (I like typing it that way, makes it seem more dramatic) during a GRC or GRH because I figure if I did then I never noticed it due to everything sucking at that point in life. My nutrition strategy is to drink all the water and pop s-caps every other lap. I have one Clif bar but I don’t eat during GORUCKs so I figure I can not eat during this. This is going to be a new experience and I cannot tell you how excited I am to run into that sumbitch and either climb it or collapse into a pile of crap at the bottom of it and cry all the tears.

When I tell people about this, they give me all the ‘yeah you can do it’ and ‘go get ’em’s’ I can handle and try to encourage me and I absolutely hate that. It’s a nice sentiment, for sure, but it doesn’t do anything for me and I don’t want to hear encouraging words or thoughts. I need to hear that it’s going to suck and I’m dumb for signing up for it. That’s what I need. Maybe I need to just quit being a bitch.

Not that anyone cares but you can follow my progress online here – https://register.chronotrack.com/event/tracking/eventID/6950

The name is “Bee Yang” and not “Yee Bang” in case any of you are confused.

Here’s my playlist. Almost three hours so I’ll hear everything twice. Not sure if I want to drop it down to two hours and hear it at least three times. Yeah, I likes me some Adele and John Legend #deal I reckon that playlist trimming can be a game time decision. I’m also going to use my Zombies, Run! app so I can finish Season one like 2 years after I got the damned game. This is going to be so awesome. I’m retiring from marathons after tonight, you heard it here first.

Valar morghulis