“With great meditation come great insights.” – Uncle Ben from Spider-Man

I…don’t think that’s an actual quote but hey let’s talk about my fifth favorite subject (me, me, me, GORUCK, meditation)! I haven’t been crushing meditation lately but I’ve been doing it more days than not and I guess that’s something. I haven’t had any breakthroughs and from what I’ve listened to on the 10% Happier Podcast, I probably won’t make any.

“Meditation doesn’t solve anything.” – Dan Harris

No, it definitely doesn’t solve anything but I guess it is a tool to help you evaluate scenarios and situations. 

Like I’ve always been kind of an asshole to people. Rather, very rarely am I trying to be mean. Mostly, I just kind of prod people and I do it automatically. Maybe I’ve trained myself throughout the years to do that. It’s a nice skill to have. 

 
Now I still do it today but lately, there have been a few instances where I’m intentionally being Captain Jerky McJerkface but still continue on. I don’t know if that makes it worse or if it’s better. The other day I was talking to someone and they were getting irritated with me asking them to do something they didn’t want to do (but they had to do it- them or me) and I kept harping on it. Once I realized they were getting annoyed I doubled down on that shit and I kinda felt bad…but not really.

That was exciting to see, acknowledge, and develop throughout that moment.

In the interest of self-improvement, I reckon I should quit being myself in that scenario. It improves nothing, helps nothing, and gives me negative cool points. You know I’m all about being cool.

Today’s lesson in the 10% Happier app was that emotions are like weather- “Nobody ever sits in a rainstorm and says ‘man this rain will never end.'” Which he relates that emotions are like that- when is the last time you were mad forever (bitch I might be)? Or happy forever? Storms pass and so do emotions. So chill out mofos.
Damn that was a good lesson. It’s got me thinking of all the times I’ve been an asshole on purpose in recent memory and you know what? I’m sorry and I’m going to cut back on that. Like, next week yeah?

New policy:

Don’t be an asshole intentionally. Or is that a cop out? Don’t be an asshole.