random stories

This was one of our recent conversations in our group chat. Keep reading AND PLEASE add some random memories you have from your events.  Our chat is called #RevelationNewsNetwork e.g. someone has never had a Big Mac, someone has never seen Monty Python in its entirety, someone doesn’t like running. This makes me wonder how many fantastic (and not so fantastic) memories there are that people take away from events and everyone has a story. Life is pretty cool I guess.

As always, 281 > 280

Here’s one story from their first Challenge.

NapMonster

I’m replaying asscreed Brotherhood. Trips me out how easy buddy carries are when you’re a video game.


bigMacMonster

You mean you can’t run with a human on your back? Weird.

NapMonster

not as well as you or @StrongMonster

StrongMonster

Um. I haven’t buddy carried in a long time. Events used to be hard.

StrongMonster

True

NapMonster

Y’all don’t drunkenly buddy carry each other? lol!

bigMacMonster

Rarely

NapMonster

I remember my first buddy carry. Dude was 40 lbs heavier than me. His ruck was easily 45 lbs. I could do it better now but man, that first one is a fucking reality check.

bigMacMonster

Truth

StrongMonster

Buddy drag bear crawls.

NapMonster

lol shit that was a nightmare

bigMacMonster

World of difference between “lift this person” & “carry this person”

StrongMonster

Basically impossible

NapMonster

my buddy was heavier and bigger but he basically dragged me the whole way. I got us both dead

that’s what I like about goruck. maybe life in general. so many little memories of shit that’s dumb

StrongMonster

Yeah

NapMonster

what are some of your funny memories of goruck

StrongMonster

You ever see the video of Dakotah yelling at me? That’s one of them

NapMonster

like what’d you do? or not do?

bigMacMonster

Jason J starting the event in Grand Rapids 5 minute early just walking up yelling “get in the fucking water”

StrongMonster

Flag dropped

NapMonster

lol wtf at both.  Did people get in? I mean you don’t know it’s five minutes early.

StrongMonster

Then my quad cramped up during our punishment

NapMonster

lol!!

bigMacMonster

Dakotah asking me why my arms aren’t extended and me trying to explain they are by saying “I have poor elbow mobility, cadre.” They were all right by a fountain, but made for the river 100 feet away. That pissed him off more. “Not the Grand River you idiots! Get in the fucking fountain!” Then when security made him let them out of that? Into the river for roll call.

StrongMonster

A time for Learning

This is what happens when you upset a Cadre.

NapMonster

Damn

StrongMonster

He loved us

bigMacMonster

He’d told us at the outset the flag touching the ground would mean the event turned into Selection

StrongMonster

Tom brought the woman who threw the flag

bigMacMonster

Well. Yes. Sorta. She did have Jeannie’s old ruck. And I did talk her into being there

StrongMonster

He could have explained the consequences better leading up to this event

bigMacMonster

And she was specifically afraid she’d do that

StrongMonster

That was a great event. Shit got so bad a few times.

NapMonster

The night is dark and full of terrors.

StrongMonster

I brought the team weight. It was miniature pumpkins and like 10# of candy

bigMacMonster

It was fantastic

StrongMonster

Think I got stuck taking 5# of candy home

bigMacMonster

Rob trying to quit near daybreak when we got the rocks was also great.

StrongMonster

Yeah, he tried to quit twice

NapMonster

this should be a blog post

bigMacMonster

Dakotah was like “they’re still carrying that rock”

NapMonster

what rocks? and when was the Dakotah event? wish he’d come back.

bigMacMonster

2014. October.

NapMonster

not that I’m doing any more events

bigMacMonster

Halloween. Had a guy show up late af dressed as a hot dog

StrongMonster

He was much cooler at lunch

bigMacMonster

Dakotah was so amused he didn’t kill us

NapMonster

lol how late

bigMacMonster

He kept thinking Jeannie was legit some librarian that wandered into the welcome party. Ten minutes or so. Late late.

NapMonster

so many great stories out there

StrongMonster

Back to Halloween, dude that shadowed and took that video got me into GORUCK. Also brought 5# of bacon for the class to eat at endex.

bigMacMonster

Best bacon ever

Grilled

So smoky. So incredible.

NapMonster

bacon is great but I don’t get the extreme Love of it. where was that shit when I was growing up?

bigMacMonster

Internet has to make everything into a fetish

Sriracha too

NapMonster

man that Budweiser I had after the first challenge was all right. the two combo meals from Whataburger though were the shit. someone hit and run my car? not even a big deal cause I called insurance that following Monday

StrongMonster

We bought Miller Lite tall boys and drank them in a parking lot after

You must remember that from your tour of Detroit.

NapMonster
I do. while waiting for Amy Uber. 7-11
StrongMonster

Yep

NapMonster

was it a lot of “wtf”

at least they were still super hard back then

StrongMonster

Yeah

NapMonster

I sat at Dealey Plaza for an hour cause I didn’t want to walk the half mile back to my car

bummed a ride off my new bff Eric wang and his GF. 3 of us did. I had to sit on someone’s knee. least of my concerns after that night

bigMacMonster

No. Participating. We were nerds for Halloween. But as for the wtf, we were on Belle Isle forever in the morning and when we realized how many people weren’t doing their first events were were just stunned.

“Why would anyone do this twice”

NapMonster

lol yes!!!

bigMacMonster

“Fucking retarded”

“No way we do this again, and I’m pissed at you rn for us being here”

NapMonster

I met Lee McCarthy and Camber and that was their third event. Like “uhhhhh”

bigMacMonster

Right. Then you think “oh these fuckers are all insanely fit or something.” Which is like 10% true.

NapMonster

I’ve brought down the average

bigMacMonster

But for every Vreeland there’s a couple three trios like us

StrongMonster

Yeah, swore I’d never do another

NapMonster

probably 1:900 vreelands to scrubs. He’s a unit of measure now. I’m going to send him this.

StrongMonster

Based on Selection finishers to Tough page people, it’s 1:1000

Aren’t there about 20 of them?

NapMonster

23-25?

bigMacMonster

Yeah, but that’s b/c he’s Selection Vreeland. I’m just counting his actual physical abilities. He’s indefatigable and strong and shit, but most impressive of all is his attitude. I’m not sure he can be rattled.

NapMonster

oh

I’m sure he can be. He mentioned thinking a bad thought once when he figured out his feet were hurting at Selection.

bigMacMonster

Lol

All my thoughts were bad for all of Halloween once my feet got hurty.

NapMonster

lol

bigMacMonster

My internal monologue is basically “I should fucking quit this is the last fucking time fuck this shit why am I here the wife is in bed right now I could be in bed fuck I’m so fucking stupid”

NapMonster

My thoughts were bad when homeboy was on the wrong side of the parking lot at roll call…bro that’s my internal monologue all the time except no wife thoughts. It’s a lot of “the fuck?”

bigMacMonster

Right?

StrongMonster

Yeah, always that

bigMacMonster

Why am I here? I don’t belong here.

Cadre? I think I’m in the wrong place.

NapMonster

cadre I’m so lost

bigMacMonster

I thought this was a recreational activity

NapMonster

people pay for this?

repeatedly? and buy several$300 bags?

StrongMonster

Yeah

bigMacMonster

10:1 backpack: back ratioNapMonster

NapMonster

best ratio

 

Stories are the best. Maybe that’s partly why we go back. I’ll see you in Charleston for the GORUCK Heavy when I cramp up at roll call and watch you people suffer.