skunked

I got skunked
tl;dr – don’t hit a skunk pretty much ever

Here’s the deal – don’t hit a skunk. I did that and now I’m a killer. Not a stone-faced, unfeeling killer or cool assassin. But a dude who hit a skunk with his car and now he feels bad. A skunk is a living, breathing creature worthy of living its life filled with skunk-love and skunk-purpose. One just looking for his next meal and a place to poop in peace. He’s probably got a job selling skunk scent and skunk scent accessories. I don’t know if that’s true or not but the main thing is that if you hit a skunk with your car it will smell.

I still feel bad. I was hoping I would be able to avoid him. I saw it unfolding slowly but unluckily for me, I wasn’t staying true to my UPS school of driving. I wasn’t paying attention to my escape routes and didn’t want to risk having an accident in order to avoid slaying an animal. I saw him run out and almost get hit by the car in the left lane (~50′ ahead, left lane of a two lane road), he realizes he doesn’t want to get taken out by a sedan, turns around, and comes back to my lane. I stepped on the brake, couldn’t swerve left for fear of an accident (I think it was clear), and was hoping he would’ve made it out…

Nope. Two hits using my right wheels.

Damn it.

By Skeeze – pixabay archive copy at the Wayback Machine (archived on 26 August 2018), CC0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=720343

If you want to know, your car starts to smell like skunk all the time. I was lucky in that I was ~7 minutes from a car wash so I drove over and sprayed the undercarriage for 5 minutes. As soon as you stop at a light, the smell starts to invade your car. It’s not like you can drive fast to get the stench off. I googled a bunch of solutions (baking soda, vinegar, skunk bomb) but washing as much of it off as you can is pretty successful. I got back into my car after work and was afraid I’d have to burn it to the ground but luckily the smell is only on the outside.

Ha, it’s what’s not on the inside that counts.

Still, he got his vengeance.

Say one thing about Bee Yang, say that he told you to not hit a skunk with your car.

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Bee

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life

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