A few months ago I started reading some early retirement articles (FIRE – financially independent, retired early) and threads on the Internet to see what that life is like. I’m not in danger of retiring early or even retiring late at this stage in the game but it’s fun to read about. The first couple of things I noticed is that one, it’s a different mindset/approach to things – more active than my “contribute x to my 401K, set it and forget it” and two, there is significantly less being money spent on backpacks and shoes. That’s the real tragedy.

This new interest serves two purposes –

1. minimize spend

2. saves money (I think those are different)

3. minimize the amount of shit in my life (I’m minimalist but only cause it’s still cool to claim it)

4. get my life back since time = money

5. learn a new approach to life

Like I said, two purposes.

In an effort to curb my spend, I told myself I couldn’t buy shoes or other unneeded shit until I lost some weight.

*immediately gains 3 pounds*

That’s cool, I didn’t want to save $40 (times 2!) on a pair of shoes anyway.

*cries*

My second step towards retiring early was ditching my old and busted phone plan – ATT

Took that away.

Hit you with the new hotness – Cricket

I was paying a dumb number of dollars a month (but you get free HBO) and figured I didn’t need unlimited data so I switched to Cricket (thanks Mar) for $35. It’s second class data but seeing as I don’t stream video it don’t matter.

Thankfully I can still talk on the phone with my homeboy Jenks message you fools never.

But back to the real tragedy in all of this, I have two pairs of NIB shoes that my ass ain’t wearing again because I’m never running again. Guess no running means I don’t need new bags. So the ultimate way I can save money is by gaining weight (not sure this is a thing).

So my new approach to life is to get fat and don’t buy more shoes or bags until the ones I have are gone. I wonder how long this will last?

Retirement seems far away and that’s if you make it. I’m 37 and I have no idea what I’m doing with my life or what I want to do when I grow up. If* I grow up. I don’t actually feel like an adult. When did you adults start feeling like adults? Until that happens I’m going to nap and watch tv.

I’m not even sure what I would do were I to retire early (definitely not early) but on my list would be to travel, actually workout + bitch about working out (1:19 ratio), read, nap, and watch tv.

Come to think of it, I’m retired™ now but without the wealth nor actually being retired.

Bloody hell.

skunk update – drove by the scene of The Incident and I saw a skunk dude in the grass, giving me the stink eye. I think he knows.

Links:

http://www.econwithtom.com – GRT’s blog of awesome

https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/wiki/commontopics – internets

https://www.reddit.com/r/financialindependence/ – internets

https://www.reddit.com/r/povertyfinance/ – I hope it’s not poverty tourism

https://www.reddit.com/r/fatfire – opposite end, lifestyles of the rich and famous

https://www.mrmoneymustache.com/ – I think this is the heavy hitter of blogs