Once upon a time G asked us to do an event with him and we all told him “no” because it’s 2022 and nobody does those anymore. Then we upgraded that to “hell no.” Only to have that superseded by “don’t talk to me or my family again.” But in the end, we gave in because we’re dumb (“oh no Bee you’re not dumb” – all my friends, thanks!) and honestly, who doesn’t like to watch your friends suffer?

Apparently I’m the one that suffers and G doesn’t suffer. He merely watches you suffer. I didn’t meet G until our first GORUCK event many moons ago which, as of this INITIAL writing, 3,575 days ago.

Honestly, I’ve regretted it ever since. Exhibit 3000:

“Come on Bee don’t be so fat.”

“Hurry up Bee.”

“Why are you so slow?”

“Why are you so much better looking than me?”

“Bee you’re so cool!”

Well G someone has to be all of those things and I’m one stop shopping. YOU’RE WELCOME (BUT IN FRENCH)

Not that he’s a terrible person, he just wants you to get out there and crush shit and I don’t need that positivity in my life. Let me mire in my soup of mediocrity. It suits me.

I gotta be honest, I wasn’t feeling this Challenge (when do I ever?) but I guess I needed to get my backpack back. I loaned it to G and his son J not G a few months earlier so he could prep for the event and/or Real Life™

<training montage.mp4>

Does not exist because lol

I forgot how fun it was for pre-game/event parking lot shenanigans. Which is mostly me sitting in my car, not going over my packing list, and then actually removing things that were legitimately on the packing list (sup first aid kit?). Oh yeah there’s alcohol. Not anymore really but back in my day that was the thing. Get drunk as hell and then get wrecked during the event. 

Like Aaron Stephens best tephens said, “it all sucks so you might as well have a beer.” But that was the old me and the new Bee, well, his body is a temple. Judging by my performance that night the temple needs some maintenance like Notre Dame after it burned up a few years back in Paris. But a slow burn for me and not an overnight conflagration. It takes years and years of neglect to get this bad and not a bad contractor. I didn’t even look it up but that sounds like a good description.

On the day of the event it’s dumping rain all over this sumbitch and I get to drive my fat ass over to Rockwall/Rowlett/Garland (it’s all the same once you leave HEB) and all I can think is “pants or shorts” because Eric said he would wear shorts and really, that guy isn’t smart. If you know me then it’s never really a debate (Jason+Normandy) so obviously it’s short shorts season. Shorts + bug bites galore is an unbeatable combo pre-game but in retrospect, regular ass pants and way less bug bites is probably better. Still not convinced but so far it’s like 15 events pro-bug-bites to like 1 event no-bug-bites. Plus, no knee pain from crawling on the ground incorrectly.

SO this was a fun event. Cadre Whiskey Mike is an old school Ranger.  From my experience hanging out with old Army dudes vs new Army dudes I can tell it’s slightly different. Like pre-9/11 dudes/cadre have a different swagger about them than most of the post-9/11 dudes/cadre. Not better or worse but somehow better. 

…

There was lots of walking and ruck running to every checkpoint but the best was me and G shootin’ the shit about our respective Normandy events. I think he did the first GORUCK one with the Arkansas crew and then he flew home right after. Mine was in 2015 and I flew home like 4-5 days later…and here we go in 2022 doing another event and drove home immediately after.

I have no idea where I was going with this but with it mostly written I figure I could stop. I guess the details of our events typically don’t matter (unless you get MRSA #dc #heavy #011). It is pretty cool doing an event 9.5 years after you did your first one and how your perspective is skewed. Hell from event 1 to event 2 you are way, way cooler at shit (not any better, just cooler) ‘cause Lee offered you a beer once and you met some instant friends along the way.

Maybe the real treasure is the friends we made along the way. 

Except G though...he disdains your offer of friendship and we're all better for it.